Shit! Another Gay Guy!

So, one of my ex-writers sent me an email about his apartment search in metro New York. To paraphrase it: "The thing I hate about Craigslist is every time I find a great apartment, it always ends with the potential roommate describing himself as a '29-year-old gay guy.'"

My ex-writer is a very cool dude. I nicknamed him World Boy because he's been everywhere from Beijing to Cairo to Rio. Plus, he's the New American Blend: a 24-year-old Latino who was raised in a high-brow Pittsburgh neighborhood (Squirrel Hill) by a Colombian mother and a half-Colombian/half-American father. The family is just as diverse religiously. World Boy describes himself as half Jewish and half Catholic, but he also has Mormon ties. Money? Lots of it. His mom is now president of a mortgage bank in Miami. The kid also is not shy sexually. Have dick, will travel.

In other words, he's Mentos. (You remember -- the hip Euro ads for the Freshmaker.) Yet, he's also homophobic. We never discussed my sexuality, although I always assumed he knew I was gay by some of his comments when we went out to dinner. Now, obviously, I'm not so sure.

But substitute the "gay guy" in his email with "black" or "Muslim" or "Jewish" or "Asian." Is there a difference in the prejudice somebody would exhibit toward a race or religion and the prejudice somebody would exhibit toward sexual orientation? I suppose you could make an argument that there is. If you lived with an Asian or Muslim, you might find the food or music or books or philosophies alien, but you wouldn't have to worry that your roommate might want to hit on you or that he might get turned on when he saw you shirtless.

Of course, in reality, the gay guy probably would have no romantic interest in the straight guy -- meaning there'd be no sexual tension at all. And if the straight guy was free of sexual hang-ups, he wouldn't care if his roommate found him attractive. Some of the coolest relationships, I think, are between gay and straight guys who become friends and can tease each other about their preferences. I often tell one of my straight friends how freaking sexy he looked in this or that outfit.

Anyway, I was a little hurt by the email. But I wasn't deeply wounded, as I would have been if I'd been black or Asian and World Boy had taken a jab at my race. The reason, I guess, is because it's socially acceptable to express distaste for gays. Sad as that might be.